Grandma Funk’s can be described as a fun afternoon hangout for starving music fans. The restaurant, located just a couple of blocks from the instution known as “The Corner” aims to provide gig goers a satisfying meal before or after any massive rock out session.

The staff are your typical friendly Asian\Australian family cultivating cafe style food with an aussie music scene twist. What I mean by this, is that your BLT, your steak sandwich is no ordinary fast food cafe meal.

You will recieve a BLT with all the trimmings, and when I say this I mean it!
Instead of toast bread you will get a thick Foccacia bread topped with olives and cheese, a large serving of chips and not one but two BLT slices!

The steak sandwich is not the typical chewy streak, but a suculant porterhouse steak topped with chips also.
These two meals are all I have tried from Grandma Funk’s, however I will be back for the Nacho’s at a later date.

The cafe is full of posters for upcoming gigs at local venues,  and my eye caught a few gigs that I am keen to go to, to be honest I may not have known about these gigs if I didn’t gto Grandma Funks (I am bored with Beat magazine these days and avoid the publication.)

To add to the aroma, the after dessert’s looked tempting (delicsious cheesecake anyone?) But I could not fit in another bite!

To sum up, grandma funks is the kind of place you goto on a friday night before a rigorous rocking out session in Melbourne, the kind of food you will eat when you say “I wanna eat the fuck outta some tea”

Price: 9/10
Food: 7.5/10
Location: 7/10 (Swan St can be hard to park on)
Ambience: 8/10

OVERALL
8/10

Laksa King
320 Racecourse Rd
Flemmington
Vic 3031

Located in an arcade, follow your nose to Laksa King (no street frontage). They have an impressive range of non laksa dishes as well, which would please any M’sian or S’porean looking for some comforting home dishes like crispy noodles, hor fun, char kway teow, prata, nasi lemak. Ok, enough of that. I am sure you want to know about the laksa.

THE Laksa 9/10
There was the standard curry laksa $8.50, which has shrimps, fishcake, chicken etc. There was also a chicken laksa $8.50, seafood laksa $10.80, assam laksa…. Personally not a fan of assam laksa, so we ordered the seafood laksa, seeing that it came with king prawn, fishcake, calamari and mussels. We asked specifically for the fat vermicelli, which you seldom get from food court type chinese takeaways. Much better than the yellow noodle/skinny vermicelli mix that is so widespread!
So, after a short 10 or so minute wait, our laksa came in large steaming bowls, smelling just like a laksa should. On the top was a generous sprinkling of minced laksa leaf (I requested no fried onion, can’t stand the stuff),which flavoured the broth nicely.

The laksa broth was a bit too curry-ish for my liking, however, was delicious. not too salty, could do with a bit more chili though… not too lemak either, which makes it very easy to slurp down with the slippery noodles (Yum.. hungry again). Not too sure abou the deep fried eggplant either. It’s not typical in Singaporean laksa, and I find that deep fried eggplant is like frying a sponge in oil. i.e. you end up with a heavy blob of slop which is oil soaked! I like the crunch of the bean shoots in there as well, as they were not overdone, so still packed a bit of crunch!

The king prawn (as described in menu) turned out to be 3 gianormous prawns, though terribly crunchy (felt like eating over-processed sea food), was a welcomed sight in my laksa (no taste either, but they are huge!!). 3 mussels were swimming around somewhere in there as well as 3 pieces of tasteless but tender calamari.

Also included in the menu are asian desserts like banana fritters (which i think are overrated and overdone at the asia places here) plus they have chendol andddddd ice kachang! Will have to try that too!

Ambience 5/10

Typical tiny asian eatery. A bit on the grotty side.
Overall 9/10
Very very slippery noodles! yum! slluuurp! Will be going back to try the char kway teow and belachan kang kong and loh mee as well as the Nonya fish and of course the ice kachang! Hell, I’ll work my way thru the menu!!!

Price 10/10
Very reasonable, sort of $10-ish for one dish meals and up to $16.80 for chili prawn main dishes.

Website: http://www.newquaybuffet.com.au/

Overlooking the water and set in a chic and exciting atmosphere, the gourmet buffet of New Quay International Buffet & Bar is sure to impress.

the cuisines feature an exquisite range of international flavours and is perfect place to enjoy a well earned drink.

Environment: Felt really welcomed like a expensive restaurant with a nice cosy feeling and a nice tea light candle lit when you approach your table. Also they had a nice view of some of the boats at the front of restaurant. The waiters were on the ball taking your plates when your finished. The hot food was served in a updated bain marie look to Foodstar. However the chef that you needed to order your wonton soup or pan fried scallops had his headphones on didn’t look professional doing that.

7.5/10

Food: Well nearly tasting all the hot food there, I was pretty impressed with most of them. some of the standard hot food like fried rice, pasta and veggie dish were standard to the taste buds and required a bit more flavour to my liking. The fried food pan fried scallops & deep fried prawns tasted really good with the sauces they provided ‘forgot the name of that sauce ‘
However I was not impressed with the mushroom soup as it tasted like packaging mushroom soup with too much water. The fresh seafood was served cold I did not touch cos I’m not a fan of cold prawns and mussel. However what I liked most was the dessert. The cakes they had display, the chocolate fountain and the ice cream was amazing and satisfying. They also had avaliable heaps of wines on the drinks menue to go with the meal and desert.

Here is the link to their menu:
http://www.newquaybuffet.com.au/pdf/New_Quay_Window_Menu_August_08.pdf

One thing I didn’t like about the bain marie was that it was difficult to open the lid and keep it up with one hand and using then thongs to get the pasta onto the plate without making a mess was a pain.

Main: 6/10
Desert: 8/10

Price: Price was pretty standard for $45 dinner on a Saturday night. To have all you can eat in docklands it was reasonable, otherwise you can you can spend half that amount and go to Foodstar. The price for kids though needs to be looked at again. For 3-10 year olds, it was $31.5 a head. I suggest leaving them home unless you dont feed them for the whole day.

5/10

Location: Extremely easy to find parking as across the road there was a $8 parking all day.

9/10

Overall: All I can say is that they need to work on the hot food just a bit more, but can they can sure satisfy their customers with their desert. I think I ended up eating more desert then the hot food! lol. They also need to work on the price for kids.

Overall: 7.1/10

Leon

I recently have been looking at growing some hot chillies in my soon to be planted vegie patch. While searching for some information on what chillies are going to offer some heat and flavour, I can across an article about a hot sauce so hot, that you can’t even have a tablespoon of the stuff without nearly passing out. Being the fool that I am, I went out and found a bottle of the stuff. Blair’s Megadeath Sauce claims to be 500 times hotter then jalapeños! Upon getting my bottle, the first thing I noticed was the colour. It looked deadly! The next thing to hit me was the smell. It is just unbelievable. Next came the moment of truth, tasting. Now, I consider myself to have quite a high tolerance to spice, but the colour and aroma were enough to worry me. One tiny particle on a piece of garlic bread was enough of a warning to tell me just how hot this extract is. With a bit of encouragement, I doused a 1 1/2 inch by 1 1/2 inch piece of lasagne. I can only describe the taste and heat as absolutely unreal. I have never tasted something so hot. Hiccups followed and my mouth was so sensitive that I could not eat anything else for a good 25 minutes. This extract would be fantastic in a good red sauce or in some tacos. Heat aside; it is a very tasty sauce.

Flavour: 9 / 10

Heat: 10++++++++

Rating: 9.5 / 10

Evil…

Food: Big Mama’s menu consists a selection of Korean & Japanese entree, main, dessert style dishes; from soups to spicy meat dishes. Every dish is topped off with well presented side dishes, varying from rice, spring rolls and calamar. Each time you dine you get a surprise what what is presented to you.
Each meal is very filling and I suggest arriving on en empty stomach, as you will be leaving with a very full one.

Score: 8.5 / 10

Environment: The cuteness of the food is matched by the friendly all female staff who serve and cook the food. When Big Mama’s is not full the meals are served very quickly. The restaurant itself is not large but it is very clean, tidy and has a great ambiance. It really feels like a modern restaurant located in modern Japan.

Score: 7.5 / 10

Price: Value for money is what you will receive from Big Mama’s, for $15 you will get a meal and a drink that will keep you happy and not wanting another meal for the rest of the day. Although a bit pricey for the average lunch you wont be forgetting the taste and experience any time soon.

Score: 9.0 / 10

Overall: Big Mama’s is one of the best value for money restaurants I have been to in a while. Like me it will become a weekly ritual that you will look forward to each and every day you don’t eat there.

8.3 / 10

Wheezy…

Yebisu is a 100% malt beer the will accompany almost any type of cuisine. The flavour is pronounced but with a very subtle aftertaste which dissipates quite quickly. First produced in 1890 the beer continues to one of the most popular in Japan often touted as a ’boutique’ beer. It featured some product placement in Neon Genesis Evengelion which further increased this beer’s popularity in Japan. A point to note on this beer is the very low availability in Australia. As far as I know, there are only 3 places that normally stock it (2 in Victoria and 1 in Western Australia). Also be prepared to pay $100 a slab. But it’s worth every cent.

Please remember to consume alcohol responsibly.

Rating: 9.5 / 10

Evil…

Evil…

There are a lot of Italian restaurants opening up in the western suburbs of Melbourne as of late, so I thought I’d review one to give you the reader, some sort of idea about the type of food served and if the cuisine is worth eating.

Food: The selection of food is what I would classify as standard for this type of restaurant. You can choose from a wide selection of Pizza, pasta, sea food, meat dishes and chicken dishes. The food is quite good in terms of taste and presentation. Having said that, there is nothing really original about the food. The size of dishes is considerable so you may want to think twice before ordering an entree or snack before your main.

Score: 6.5 / 10

Environment: Ace’s Place is very well setup, with a modern feel. Plasma displays line the walls and there are booths in addition to standard tables. There is also outside dinning which is great in summer. Staff are not quick to offer assistance but once food is ordered, they are quite prompt in getting it to the table.

Score: 6.5 / 10

Price: For a restaurant of this type prices vary from average to a little high. Expect to pay about $12 for a medium pizza, which is quite high. You need to remember that this is not an Italian cafe on Lygon Street, it is a sub-urban eatery.

Score: 6.0 / 10

Overall: Ace’s place is a great place to have a lunch or dinner with a large group of friends due to its seating capacity. As for the food well don’t expect the best Italian food you have ever tasted. Whilst not bad I would not consider it mind blowing.

6.3 / 10

Evil…

Restaurant Name: Teppansan - Japanese Cafe
Cuisine: Japanese
Location: 179 Russell Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000
Tel.: +61 3 9663 1938
Web: N/A

Quality food does not need to cost you an arm and a leg. Teppansan is a prime example of fine dining at fantastic prices. Whether you wish to go out for a romantic dinner or go to lunch with friends, Teppansan has a fine selection of cuisine that should cater to your needs.

Food: Meals at Teppansan are quite large and as a consequence, you can over order. Having said that, the food is so good you can be forgiven for ordering too much. Okonomiyaki and benodon boxes are a speciality.

Score: 8.5 / 10

Environment: Nice, simple surroundings are what help to make your eating expericence one you will remember for a while to come. A simple Japanese pre - revolution inspired mural and items such as fans adourn the walls. Additionally, posters advertising Japanese products and brands are placed to further give you the feeling as though you might be in a eatery in Japan.

Score: 8.0 / 10

Price: Considering the quality and presentation of the food, the pricing is insane. Everyday there are 2 lunch specials the first at $5.80 and the other at $10.00. Brilliant.

Score: 9.5 / 10

Overall: Teppansan is a bit of class, a lot of great food, brilliant environment and superb pricing all wrapped into one.

8.7 / 10

Evil…

Kirin Ichiban or affectionately known as Kirin is a very light bodied, sweet beer. Very light in both colour and flavour, Kirin is the type of beer that you can drink with any meal on any occasion. Which in Japan is a good thing as a lot of what is eaten is seasonally based. One area where this particular brew excels is in its aftertaste. There isn’t one! There isn’t a strong beer aroma either making this one of the best beers available. Expect to pay about $7 per bottle from bars and restaurant and about $40 a slab from liquor stores.

Please remember to consume alcohol responsibly.

Rating: 8.5 / 10

Evil…